How to Raise an UNtrained Dog

How to Raise and Untrained Dog Current mood: cynical

So it is no suprise that raising dogs, just like raising children, are a reflection, to some extent of their owners/parents. I being the "parent" of a severly untrained dog, write this blog with indefinate amounts of experience on the subject.

A lot can be learned about one's self by the way they raise their animals/children and so, with that in mind, after once again spanking my at times very bad puppy, Peter James Stephenson, I contemplated why he is the way he is and what that says about me. Call it reading into the subject, if you wish, but I found it very insightful. Below are my findings:

KEYS TO RAISING A DISOBEDIENT DOG...

1. SET RULES, but DON'T FOLLOW THEM...

Of course, when I got my little Peter as a puppy, as I assume one would do for a child, I set my mind into rules and regulations, what I would do and not do, what I would allow my puppy to do and not do, and so forth. From day one, those plans were shot to hell. Originally, I resigned myself to the following rules:1. No dog on the couch. 2. No dog in the bed. 3. He will stay in his kennel when I am gone.4. I will not spank my dog, he will get time out.5. He will be housetrained in 2 months.6. He will never eat "people food"

And then we have how those plans were distroyed:
1. Peter thinks the couch belongs to him and you are invading his space by sitting on it.
2. Rule #1, except insert bed for couch.
3. Kennel? He doesn't know the meaning of the word.
4. He is spanked hard and OFTEN.
5. Housetrained to him means the house is pretty much his toilet...
6. If you are eating dinner, Peter finds it very rude, and often voices it aswell, if you dont' share.He annoys the shit out of you until you at least give him a taste.

What happened? Lost in translation were my initial rules and I am left with pretty much the exact opposite of what I had hoped. It is fairly clear that I am the one to blame. I am fairly sure you can assert that since Peter is approximately 7 lbs. it is I who should have whipped him into submission. But there is a deeper lying issue here, that being the fact that I can not stick to the plans and guidelines that I have set and that Rules for me, are meant to be broken, obviously...

The thing is this, in life, being the rebel, rule breaker is contageous. I am spreading this chaotic virus to my animals and one day possibly to my offspring. This is supposed to scare me into submission, but in appropriate rule breaking form, it doesn't.The key components to effectively setting rules and not following them are as follows:

a) CREATE A DIFFERENT EXCUSE FOR WRONG BEHAVIOR, DON'T REUSE OLD ONES

I have used pretty much every excuse in the book for why my dog consistently pees on my neighbors doormat, poops on surfaces that make it impossible to clean up and finds ways, working in cohorts with Black Kiiiiiiidy, to eat any possible food you have laying around, drink your beer, dig through the trash or eat underwear. It could be because YOUR dog peed there first, and he was just marking his territory, or it could be that he poops on the carpet because it feels better to his tender little booty hole, or he likes beer and YOUR food better than his own, he digs through the trash to eat the leftovers, YOU are so wasteful...and he is naturally drawn to underwear, he is a scent hound, that is what he does...You see, I have come up with legitimate excuses for all of his bad behavior and they are not recycled...I think the reason I do this is because subconsciously, I am taking up for someone/thing I care about. I don't want him to be in trouble or do bad things so if I find excuses for why he did them, they are not bad...WRONG way to be...WRONG.

b) WHINING ALWAYS WORKS...
Honestly, who wants to sit there while your dog is whining and crying? It prevents me from hearing the television, enjoying my meal and most importantly SLEEPING...therefore, I give in. I get his toy that he has thrown out of reach under the couch, I give him a taste of dinner and I let him get in the bed. WRONG, WRONG and WRONG. He has learned that whining gets him what he wants and he is not afraid to play that card. It really doesn't bother me to give into the whining...he is my "child"afterall and I want to spoil him, but spoiling him all the time makes him think that he is worthy to be spoiled by every person he meets and that is just not the case. Some don't have the affinity for my tiny furball of love and as such, he has little patience with them. This makes it very difficult to take him places because he EXPECTS to get his way.

2. Set a Routine, and change it frequently.

It is easy when life is going at a manageable pace to set routines and get your pet/child used to them. And then, all of the sudden, extra work, staying out late, spending the night away from home, waking up late for work, hanging out with friends, etc. conflict directly with that schedule...so you disregard the previous schedule and fly by the seat of your pants. That is my standard operating procedure, a contradiction...a following a rule that maintains not following rules...hmmm...that is deep. But honestly, it is life. I have never been one who follows routines, schedules yes, like be at work at 8:30 and leave at 5:30, when it comes to money, I am always on time, but in my personal life, I go with the flow, try to be flexible with the small things, and as such, my pets' schedule is the one that suffers. I don't forsee this changing in the near future or EVER for that matter.

3. TREATS! TREATS! TREATS!

Us girls can understand this one, I swear, think to yourself, how many times have you treated yourself and excused it with "I TREAT MYSELF FOR JUST BEING ME..." Oh, come on...I do it all the time. I tell myself that I deserve things, just because I exist...and apparently my dog has caught wind of that notion and has adopted it himself...with my help of course! We all like to treat ourselves, but I am speaking for those of us who go too far. With Peter, he things if he walks into a room, he gets a bone and then if he walks into another room, he deserves a new play toy, after all, he has graced us all with his presence. For that, I do assume full responsibility. He was an only child for so long and probably the guilt I have accrued from making him suffer the brunt of my ten in a row break up streak doesn't help, so it is my fault for praising every step those little paws make, but the truth is that he is mine. He is one of the only things in my life that I have chosen, paid for, nurtured and cared for the entirety of his two years in existence and the simple fact that he has survived it, well that is worthy enough for me of much praise and thanksgiving...He is in a constant state of TREAT as long as I am his mommy...which will be forever.

4. Expect correct behavior, and show no disappointment in mistakes.

What we expect and what actually happens is often as my sister puts it, Mars and Pluto. Of course I expect my dog not to run out in front of cars or to hold it until mommy can take him outside or to behave when company is visiting, but often I chase him around the yard because he doesn't want to come inside, I clean up pee and "turdies" when he makes mistakes in the house and I am constantly pulling him out of my company's face where he sits constantly nudging them with his ball anticipating that they will want to play throw and catch for hours on end. I am not sure that I will repremand him, so just expect these things when you come to visit.

My final thoughts are this, Yes, as a "parent", I screwed up my dog's head, taught him what to do and showed him that he didn't have to. I am in a constant state of learning and I pray to God that I can correct all of these blunders before I am cursed with wicked children.