Adventures in Babysitting

Adventures in Babysitting.... Current mood: okay

So 6:00 a.m. came very early this morning. After a tiring day of working all day then turning on the kid taxi light at 3:30 p.m. and not getting home until around 10:00 p.m. I have decided to take a self imposed vow of celibacy....forever! I now have a new found respect for not only moms in general but working moms especially.

I was hired by my boss and his wife to keep their four children for four days. My initial thoughts were, okay this is not going to be hard. I have them for 1.5 school days and what do most kids want to do on the weekends? They want to sleep in late and just watch television and chill. Oh, rude awakenings are so brutal!

When you think of Atlanta traffic, what comes to mind? For me the following descriptors are an accurate depiction: road rage, highways as parking lots, stress, always late...I could go on and on. Well imaging carting four kids from gynmnastics to football to school plays and such on four opposite ends of town for approximately six hours. That is what I lovingly refer to as my evening last night. By the time my head hit the pillow at 10:05 p.m. I had my mind firmly made up that I was not cut out to be a mom.

The morning was, well how do I explain it, a cocktail of distaster, calamity and laughter. Fortunatly for me, the kids I am keeping are great great kids and I really do adore them. My alarm went off at 6:00 a.m. and for the first five minutes I was in confusion over where I was and then like a ton of bricks, my mom duties hit me in the head and it was not pretty! I thrawled myself out of bed and frantically ran to the shower. My mind was racing over what would be the fastest route to school #1 then how the hell was I going to get breakfast for the kids and make it on time to school #2? Oh God, panic was setting in!

I jumped out of the shower, half drying myself and almost fracturing my skull slipping on the wet bathroom floor. I ran out and immediately went from room to room WAKE UP...30 MINUTE WARNING...that caught the attention of few, but lucky for me, the two youngest sprung out of bed and immediately went to let out the dog and cat. We all forgot the alarm was set on the doors, so instead of wrestling the two oldest out of bed, the blaring alarm did my dirty work! Clothes were flying, book bags rustling, my signature was scrawled on three or four math tests and we were in the car headed off!

Traffic Jam....of course, a freaking traffic jam. I tried to restrain the vulgarities running through my head, and successfully did, but the steering wheel bore the brunt of my frusteration. Finally, I made "the circle" at school #1, bid two farewell, and began the rat race to school #2, on the other end of town. Between honking horns and evil glares, I made it to the other end of town with 7 minutes to spare, but breakfast...OH GOD, BREAKFAST! I can't send these kids to school with rumbling tummies!

So what do I do? I whip it in McDonalds, grab a couple sausage biscuits and as I pull into the school with one minute to spare, I swear I heard them choking on the last remnants of their meal, biscuit papers flying as the car door shut, I took my first breath at that moment and sat at the red light in complete disbelieve that I actually did it and then the laughter flowed out of me like the roaring of the train as it reaches the station. I was so caught up in the morning and its stresses that I didn't take time to laugh at the oldest child dowsed in cologne, or the fact that the children had approximately 18 seconds to eat the biscuit I had bought, or the fact that they probably think I am a freaking lunatic for talking to myself and yelling at all of the traffic. It is amazing that not only I am alive, but also that the kids survived too!

Of course, don't get it twisted, I am not perfect. Something must give, it is my first morning as mommy-in-training and I could not have gotten it all right, or at least semi-right the first morning. Of course not, I did neglect something...I forgot to put out dog and cat food. Of course, the two things that in my own world are the two most inportant things to me, I forget to do! Dang! So, I will go back at lunch time and make sure they have what they need...

In short, the past day was exhausting. My initial predictions about the weekend have proved wrong as well. I must be up and have a group of boys to the school for a cross country meet by 5:30 a.m. I will remind you that this is the morning of my day off from work, and I will be up and at 'em at 5:00 a.m. driving deliriously to make it to the meet on time. And as if that were not grueling enough, each child is allowed to have "spend the night company" tomorrow night, so my four have multiplied to eight. It is possible that this is the last correspondence that you will hear from me. If they kill me, I want Dayley to have Peter and Katie to have kiiiiidy. My sister gets first dibs on my clothes then it is a free for all. Lane and Landon and Jeremy and Megan get time share at my apartment until my lease runs up and Taylor gets all of my artwork. Tonia gets my shoes, the ones that fit her, and the rest go to my mom.

Wish me luck and say hourly prayers for my survival.

God Bless the working mother. Amen.