An Amy Chaser

Before I say what I am about to say, I don't want to hear any sound effects. I don't want to hear the countless number of you who feel as though I am a complete social outcast because I am JUST seeing this movie...To me, movies speak to you and they speak to you differently at different times in your life...for me, it was time to see this movie...the right time for me...
So yesterday at Blockbuster I found myself wondering aimlessly trying to find a couple of movies to keep me company for the next couple of nights. I couldn't really determine what genre movie I wanted to see, so I pretty much scowered every cover in the store. I suddenly remembered that I had always heard about this movie CHASING AMY and long story short, picked it up. Now, not knowing what was in store for me and not being a big Ben Afflick fan AND the fact that Jay and Silent Bob are in this movie, I had serious doubts whether it would become the instant classic so many had spoken it to be. Even in the opening scenes, we learn that Holden and Company are all comic book writers, which again, lost my interest for a time....but as the story developed slowly, I gradually found myself more and more intrigued.

For the rest of you social movie outkasts that haven't seen this one either, here is the brief synopsis. Holden, main character, falls in love with girl, Alyssa, who just happens to be gay. After much time spent together, Alyssa falls in love with Holden as well. The relationship is going good, other than the fact that his best friend and new girlfriend are not getting along. Best friend introduces girlfriend's past. Holden is disturbed and can't get over the things she has done. In the end, he loses Alyssa and his best friend over his suggestion that they all have a threesome, which he believes will solve all of their problems.

That being said, and being said in such a dull and matter of fact way, you might be wondering why I
#1 chose to bring the movie up?
#2 even like the movie at all?
#3 what the hell did I get out of the movie?

Well it goes something like this. There is a scene in the movie where Alyssa and Holden are talking about her past...apparently she was very premiscuous and Holden was previously unaware. He believed his vessel was the first that had sailed into her port..if you get what I am saying. So Holden, being relatively unexperienced, begins to feel inadequate. He ASSUMES that Alyssa wants all of the freaky kinky things that he had heard of her past. The truth is, and Alyssa does a wonderful job of explaining it, that Holden may feel inadequate but the point is, she has done all of those things and has seen the bad that has come of them and she doesn't want that anymore. She is past all of that...but Holden pushes the idea of a threesome with her because he thinks it will bring him up to her experience level. All Holden did was insult her and hurt her feelings by even insuating that he would be willing, if not excited, to share her with someone else, because she would not be willing to do the same. She also forsees the destruction of the relationship with his best friend, whom Holden invited to join the threesome as well. The thing that is so important about this is that just because someone has a past, doesn't mean it is something they want to or are willing to relive. Alyssa did not regret the things she had done, she learned from them and in doing so, was ready to move past that point. For me, in the past I have seen someone's past as a high jump that was unrealistic for my shallow shortcomings, but now I realize that when a person reaches a point in his/her life where they are ready to put the past behind them and move forward, then who am I to keep regurgitating it?

Second and probably the most important point of the movie is this, the decisions and experiences people come to in life on their "own terms" as Alyssa puts it, are the decisions that are defining. For example, Alyssa explains her past not as being used or tricked into the situations she was in, guys and even girls did not take advantage of her, she was the one who was in control. She was the one who was experimenting. She did not choose to be with a man because society told her so, she let love guide her and as such, she fell in love with women as well. But she came to a point as a lesbian woman where she was missing the whole point of why she opened herself to the idea of women in the first place, and that was to not limit love. As such, when she finally came to terms with the fact that she loved Holden, upon catching much hell from her lesbian friends, she stood for what she believed, and that is Love is love. She came to Holden on her "own terms". Although it happened to be what society deemed normal and standard, to her, she was just following her heart. In life, that is most important. Self discovery and discovering one's true self is the cornerstone upon which the idea of life is built upon. By limiting one's self to societal standards, whether it be in sexual preference, fashion, morals, etc. we rob ourselves the chance to truly learn and experience life lessons on our own. Alyssa said that she had come to her and Holden's relationship on her "own terms" and that is why she was comfortable with it and I think it helped her defend it to her friends who criticized her for dating a man.

Thirdly, I think the movie wants its viewers to consider the consequences of what damage can potentially be done to relationships and lives when those from our past are unwilling to let go of it and leave no room for change. Laryn Hill says "Anything that is not changing is dead", and believing this, I ask that people be a bit more forgiving of one's past transgressions and leave room for people to change and grow up. Sure in life, we want to be remebered for the things we have done (at lease some of the things we have done! Who gets censorship rights on that?) but learning to be less willing to recall the transgressions of someone's past and to look back at them with the knowledge and wisdom life has afforded us now will bring new perspective on who those people really were and are today.

I would suggest that everyone watch Chasing Amy. I would be interested to see what message the movie sends to others. If you want to add anything...please do so.