Quarter Lifer's Guide to the Quarter Life Crisis

The Quarter Lifer’s Guide to the Quarter Life Crisis

Today being my twenty-fifth birthday, I thought it fitting to give back this year, rather than receive. My gift to you, dear readers, is my evaluation and thoughts on what has been coined the Quarter Life Crisis. It was a sign to me that I awake to my twenty fifth year of life in the midst of severe weather that is ravaging across five states, it is never really sunshine.

I credit a lot of my awareness of my quarter life crisis to Mr. John Mayer. In his song entitled WHY GEORGIA? (the irony never ends) Mr. Mayer so eloquently sings of driving up I85 and wishing to just leave his life and keep driving. He says, "It might be a quarter life crisis, just a stirring in my soul". I give abundant thanks to you Mr. Mayer for so eloquently defining what is plaguing pretty much every person I know that is my age. Since there is not much material that I have found on the subject, I figured I would provide my insight on the topic.

SYMPTOMS OF THE QUARTER LIFE CRISIS

It is only fitting to start out by identifying those (which is the majority of us quarter lifers) who are suffering from this crisis. If you have any of the below symptoms, keep reading!You are having a quarter life crisis if:

1. If you are unhappy in your job and are considering a complete career change at the age of 25

2. If you find yourself considering going back to school for your third undergraduate degree or find yourself as an 8th year Senior

3. If you spend weeks celebrating the fact that you got a job instead of going straight to work

4. If you are looking for love in all the wrong places or find yourself on E Harmony at the age of 25 or less...

5. If you are living with your parents and have the desire to move out, but do nothing about it

6. If you are 25 and your parents still give you an allowance

7. When you drink, you become a $30,000 millionaire and offer to buy the whole bar a round of drinks then protest when your bill comes

8. You put on a suit to go out for happy hour so women think that you have a good job

9. Your financial planning of paycheck to paycheck is failing

10. You see Student Loans as a long term illness that is incurable

11. You have death wishes upon the credit card executives that target college students with a $5,000 credit limit. Did they give a class on credit cards that you overslept through in college?

12. You seek advice from Dr. Phil

13. Either you read a self-help book a day or you haven't read a book since middle school

14. You plan parties that are reminiscent of the 80's and early 90's such as Roller Skating parties, pumpkin carving parties, 80's parties and everyone thinks it is the best party since the 80's

15. You attend concerts for 80's and 90's cover bands ONLY...

16. You monthly color the grey out of your hair at age 25

17. You work for a year or two then completely quit your job to go travel the world in order to find yourself

18. You're style is extreme, either extreme grandmotherish wearing cardigans and ankle length skirts or extreme TEEN wearing knee boots, big lucite bracelets and short mini skirts. No matter which, rest assured it will all be wrinkled.

19. You know every answer to Trivial Pursuit the 90's and have weekly tournaments at your house, playing the game and reminiscing the good times...

20. You try to hang out with college kids again, but secretly it takes you two weeks to recover from a game day weekend...

Check them off, add them up, if you are suffering from the above symptoms, it is time to take matters into your own hands. Understanding what is going on with you and that you are not the only one dealing with these fears, situations and feelings is, in my inexpert opinion, the key to successfully making it through the crisis.

The Quarter-Life Career Crisis

So, most of us are at a point where we are a couple years out of college, like me with a worthless, but fun at the time, degree, and are considering a career change. We were advised by our high school counselors that the average person makes eight CAREER changes in a life time, yet the rat race for fortune is pounding pressure upon us NOW. We all seek a gratifying career where we make tons and tons of money, am I right? Most of us now are complacent in our $40K/year jobs yearning for something more. From what I gather from myself and other fellow sufferers is that this is normal. We are SEEKING the answers,but are not already enlightened. We have the other 75 years of our life to make the tons of money and then our kids will make tons of money and take care of us. Take a deep breath, right now, for thinking about this gives me anxiety which leads to panic attacks, which leads me to my next subject...Stress.

The Quarter- Lifer's Eradication of Stress

We seek to eradicate stress like Pac Man eats those tiny glowing point morsels. One of my best friends, Katie, has a great quote that I think sums up the best strategy. "The purpose of life is not to get rid of the butterflies in your stomach, but to get them to fly in formation." I find this so true. No person I know eradicates stress. Stress is what makes the world go around, and managing stress is a more realistic approach. Stress is a normal part of each person's life. Those who are successful manage it well, while us quarter-lifers struggle to stay afloat. I think managing stress comes with age, much more age than we have under our belts.

The Quarter-Lifer's Identity Crisis

So we are at an age where we don't know if we should pull out the figurative girdle and cardigan or zip up those knee boots and throw on some glitter. We are struggling to make it in the adult world and establish ourselves as such while trying to cling to our not so distant past of youth and the carefree party life. Where is the happy medium? The truth is, there is hope; there just may be one! You can pay the expensive price of owning a dual wardrobe, or you can give in to one or the other. I think most lean towards the first, dating themselves with older clothes, older social scenes and just a plain older way of life. I prefer the dual wardrobe, mixing the right amount of sass and class. It can be done, but at what price? The price is high, but it creates a more well- rounded person. Being an adult means being a chameleon, blending with the crowds you hang in while maintaining a certain level of uniqueness. I dabble in the follies of youth while trying to maintain and adult-like manner on some fronts. It is definitely a lot of upkeep, but for me, it is the right choice. Today I am wearing glitter.

The Quarter-Lifer's Love Life Crisis

Unless you were one of those girls I went to college with that graduated early with an MRS. you find yourself like most of us, in search of love. At times, I doubt whether we know the full definition of love at this ripe old age. I find most of my friends are lonely and want some what of a crutch or someone to identify with them during the QLC. Wrong and Wrong, that is what I say. Very few of us at this age can take off the desperate-colored glasses of the crisis and see relationships for what they truly are. We are all trying to cope and in doing so, certain romantic relationships form. The test of endurance comes when the crisis is over and we are left with either rock candy or the diamonds....I would suggest that the quarter-lifer carefully evaluate romantic situations and take them for what they are worth. Although for the quarter-life woman, her biological clock begins to resoundingly gong in her ears, no need to panic. We have five years to find MR. RIGHT, get hitched and start popping out babies...Think about where you were five years ago. I am sure it is a long way from where you are now. Now transfix that into the future time...in five years, we again will be far from where we are now, so no need to fear...SIGN OFF OF E HARMONY right now!

So there you have it. I never claimed to be a genius...but I do know a little about the Quarter-Lifer's way of life, since today I am now officially one. As my birthday wears on, the weather gets more severe and the "quarter of a century old" jokes roll in, I am going to enjoy my birthday feasts and revel in the next year of life, no matter where it takes me, crisis or no crisis.

Adventures in Babysitting

Adventures in Babysitting.... Current mood: okay

So 6:00 a.m. came very early this morning. After a tiring day of working all day then turning on the kid taxi light at 3:30 p.m. and not getting home until around 10:00 p.m. I have decided to take a self imposed vow of celibacy....forever! I now have a new found respect for not only moms in general but working moms especially.

I was hired by my boss and his wife to keep their four children for four days. My initial thoughts were, okay this is not going to be hard. I have them for 1.5 school days and what do most kids want to do on the weekends? They want to sleep in late and just watch television and chill. Oh, rude awakenings are so brutal!

When you think of Atlanta traffic, what comes to mind? For me the following descriptors are an accurate depiction: road rage, highways as parking lots, stress, always late...I could go on and on. Well imaging carting four kids from gynmnastics to football to school plays and such on four opposite ends of town for approximately six hours. That is what I lovingly refer to as my evening last night. By the time my head hit the pillow at 10:05 p.m. I had my mind firmly made up that I was not cut out to be a mom.

The morning was, well how do I explain it, a cocktail of distaster, calamity and laughter. Fortunatly for me, the kids I am keeping are great great kids and I really do adore them. My alarm went off at 6:00 a.m. and for the first five minutes I was in confusion over where I was and then like a ton of bricks, my mom duties hit me in the head and it was not pretty! I thrawled myself out of bed and frantically ran to the shower. My mind was racing over what would be the fastest route to school #1 then how the hell was I going to get breakfast for the kids and make it on time to school #2? Oh God, panic was setting in!

I jumped out of the shower, half drying myself and almost fracturing my skull slipping on the wet bathroom floor. I ran out and immediately went from room to room WAKE UP...30 MINUTE WARNING...that caught the attention of few, but lucky for me, the two youngest sprung out of bed and immediately went to let out the dog and cat. We all forgot the alarm was set on the doors, so instead of wrestling the two oldest out of bed, the blaring alarm did my dirty work! Clothes were flying, book bags rustling, my signature was scrawled on three or four math tests and we were in the car headed off!

Traffic Jam....of course, a freaking traffic jam. I tried to restrain the vulgarities running through my head, and successfully did, but the steering wheel bore the brunt of my frusteration. Finally, I made "the circle" at school #1, bid two farewell, and began the rat race to school #2, on the other end of town. Between honking horns and evil glares, I made it to the other end of town with 7 minutes to spare, but breakfast...OH GOD, BREAKFAST! I can't send these kids to school with rumbling tummies!

So what do I do? I whip it in McDonalds, grab a couple sausage biscuits and as I pull into the school with one minute to spare, I swear I heard them choking on the last remnants of their meal, biscuit papers flying as the car door shut, I took my first breath at that moment and sat at the red light in complete disbelieve that I actually did it and then the laughter flowed out of me like the roaring of the train as it reaches the station. I was so caught up in the morning and its stresses that I didn't take time to laugh at the oldest child dowsed in cologne, or the fact that the children had approximately 18 seconds to eat the biscuit I had bought, or the fact that they probably think I am a freaking lunatic for talking to myself and yelling at all of the traffic. It is amazing that not only I am alive, but also that the kids survived too!

Of course, don't get it twisted, I am not perfect. Something must give, it is my first morning as mommy-in-training and I could not have gotten it all right, or at least semi-right the first morning. Of course not, I did neglect something...I forgot to put out dog and cat food. Of course, the two things that in my own world are the two most inportant things to me, I forget to do! Dang! So, I will go back at lunch time and make sure they have what they need...

In short, the past day was exhausting. My initial predictions about the weekend have proved wrong as well. I must be up and have a group of boys to the school for a cross country meet by 5:30 a.m. I will remind you that this is the morning of my day off from work, and I will be up and at 'em at 5:00 a.m. driving deliriously to make it to the meet on time. And as if that were not grueling enough, each child is allowed to have "spend the night company" tomorrow night, so my four have multiplied to eight. It is possible that this is the last correspondence that you will hear from me. If they kill me, I want Dayley to have Peter and Katie to have kiiiiidy. My sister gets first dibs on my clothes then it is a free for all. Lane and Landon and Jeremy and Megan get time share at my apartment until my lease runs up and Taylor gets all of my artwork. Tonia gets my shoes, the ones that fit her, and the rest go to my mom.

Wish me luck and say hourly prayers for my survival.

God Bless the working mother. Amen.