Slow Dancing in a Burning Room
Thanks once again to John Mayer for giving phrase to the feelings that most of us have felt many, many times.
In his song (album Continuum) entitled Slow Dancing in a Burning Room, he sings of a relationship in the home stretch of over, “not the storm before the calm, this is the deep and dying breath of this love that we been working on” . He knows that the relationship is over and he knows that rapidly approaching is the time in which they will have to let go (“we’re going down and you can see it too. We’re going down and you know that we’re doomed”). What a beautiful phrase…”slow dancing in a burning room”. Isn’t that exactly how it feels? You are trying to cling on to that last tidbit of what you have, and as you do so, so quickly the world around you is burning down.
When it seems so right and then it is over is when it hurts the most. He says “I was the one you always dreamed of, you were the one I used to draw. How dare you say it’s nothing to me, baby you’re the only light I ever saw. I make the most of all the sadness, you’ll be a bitch because you can. You try to hit me just to hurt me so you leave me feeling dirty ‘cause you can’t understand.” It is especially hard when one person can foresee this demise and the other can’t. It is really gut wrenching. It is the most helpless feeling really. What are you supposed to do, beg that person to stay in a relationship that is not working? That is what I did TWICE, and I can promise that doesn’t work.
“Don’t you think we ought to know by now, don’t you think we should have learned somehow?” It is at that point where the damage is done and it is irreversible that we see the things we should have and could have done. The end holds the value of hindsight and most times, it is clear as crystal.
It is really an amazing way of describing the feeling. What amazes me is how others can feel this emotion and express it in the most perfect way. Thanks to you John Mayer for once again blessing my life with the ability to beautifully express such a powerful feeling.
Showing posts with label John Mayer. Show all posts
Showing posts with label John Mayer. Show all posts
Saturday, December 9, 2006
Thursday, December 7, 2006
Quarter Lifer's Guide to the Quarter Life Crisis
The Quarter Lifer’s Guide to the Quarter Life Crisis
Today being my twenty-fifth birthday, I thought it fitting to give back this year, rather than receive. My gift to you, dear readers, is my evaluation and thoughts on what has been coined the Quarter Life Crisis. It was a sign to me that I awake to my twenty fifth year of life in the midst of severe weather that is ravaging across five states, it is never really sunshine.
I credit a lot of my awareness of my quarter life crisis to Mr. John Mayer. In his song entitled WHY GEORGIA? (the irony never ends) Mr. Mayer so eloquently sings of driving up I85 and wishing to just leave his life and keep driving. He says, "It might be a quarter life crisis, just a stirring in my soul". I give abundant thanks to you Mr. Mayer for so eloquently defining what is plaguing pretty much every person I know that is my age. Since there is not much material that I have found on the subject, I figured I would provide my insight on the topic.
SYMPTOMS OF THE QUARTER LIFE CRISIS
It is only fitting to start out by identifying those (which is the majority of us quarter lifers) who are suffering from this crisis. If you have any of the below symptoms, keep reading!You are having a quarter life crisis if:
1. If you are unhappy in your job and are considering a complete career change at the age of 25
2. If you find yourself considering going back to school for your third undergraduate degree or find yourself as an 8th year Senior
3. If you spend weeks celebrating the fact that you got a job instead of going straight to work
4. If you are looking for love in all the wrong places or find yourself on E Harmony at the age of 25 or less...
5. If you are living with your parents and have the desire to move out, but do nothing about it
6. If you are 25 and your parents still give you an allowance
7. When you drink, you become a $30,000 millionaire and offer to buy the whole bar a round of drinks then protest when your bill comes
8. You put on a suit to go out for happy hour so women think that you have a good job
9. Your financial planning of paycheck to paycheck is failing
10. You see Student Loans as a long term illness that is incurable
11. You have death wishes upon the credit card executives that target college students with a $5,000 credit limit. Did they give a class on credit cards that you overslept through in college?
12. You seek advice from Dr. Phil
13. Either you read a self-help book a day or you haven't read a book since middle school
14. You plan parties that are reminiscent of the 80's and early 90's such as Roller Skating parties, pumpkin carving parties, 80's parties and everyone thinks it is the best party since the 80's
15. You attend concerts for 80's and 90's cover bands ONLY...
16. You monthly color the grey out of your hair at age 25
17. You work for a year or two then completely quit your job to go travel the world in order to find yourself
18. You're style is extreme, either extreme grandmotherish wearing cardigans and ankle length skirts or extreme TEEN wearing knee boots, big lucite bracelets and short mini skirts. No matter which, rest assured it will all be wrinkled.
19. You know every answer to Trivial Pursuit the 90's and have weekly tournaments at your house, playing the game and reminiscing the good times...
20. You try to hang out with college kids again, but secretly it takes you two weeks to recover from a game day weekend...
Check them off, add them up, if you are suffering from the above symptoms, it is time to take matters into your own hands. Understanding what is going on with you and that you are not the only one dealing with these fears, situations and feelings is, in my inexpert opinion, the key to successfully making it through the crisis.
The Quarter-Life Career Crisis
So, most of us are at a point where we are a couple years out of college, like me with a worthless, but fun at the time, degree, and are considering a career change. We were advised by our high school counselors that the average person makes eight CAREER changes in a life time, yet the rat race for fortune is pounding pressure upon us NOW. We all seek a gratifying career where we make tons and tons of money, am I right? Most of us now are complacent in our $40K/year jobs yearning for something more. From what I gather from myself and other fellow sufferers is that this is normal. We are SEEKING the answers,but are not already enlightened. We have the other 75 years of our life to make the tons of money and then our kids will make tons of money and take care of us. Take a deep breath, right now, for thinking about this gives me anxiety which leads to panic attacks, which leads me to my next subject...Stress.
The Quarter- Lifer's Eradication of Stress
We seek to eradicate stress like Pac Man eats those tiny glowing point morsels. One of my best friends, Katie, has a great quote that I think sums up the best strategy. "The purpose of life is not to get rid of the butterflies in your stomach, but to get them to fly in formation." I find this so true. No person I know eradicates stress. Stress is what makes the world go around, and managing stress is a more realistic approach. Stress is a normal part of each person's life. Those who are successful manage it well, while us quarter-lifers struggle to stay afloat. I think managing stress comes with age, much more age than we have under our belts.
The Quarter-Lifer's Identity Crisis
So we are at an age where we don't know if we should pull out the figurative girdle and cardigan or zip up those knee boots and throw on some glitter. We are struggling to make it in the adult world and establish ourselves as such while trying to cling to our not so distant past of youth and the carefree party life. Where is the happy medium? The truth is, there is hope; there just may be one! You can pay the expensive price of owning a dual wardrobe, or you can give in to one or the other. I think most lean towards the first, dating themselves with older clothes, older social scenes and just a plain older way of life. I prefer the dual wardrobe, mixing the right amount of sass and class. It can be done, but at what price? The price is high, but it creates a more well- rounded person. Being an adult means being a chameleon, blending with the crowds you hang in while maintaining a certain level of uniqueness. I dabble in the follies of youth while trying to maintain and adult-like manner on some fronts. It is definitely a lot of upkeep, but for me, it is the right choice. Today I am wearing glitter.
The Quarter-Lifer's Love Life Crisis
Unless you were one of those girls I went to college with that graduated early with an MRS. you find yourself like most of us, in search of love. At times, I doubt whether we know the full definition of love at this ripe old age. I find most of my friends are lonely and want some what of a crutch or someone to identify with them during the QLC. Wrong and Wrong, that is what I say. Very few of us at this age can take off the desperate-colored glasses of the crisis and see relationships for what they truly are. We are all trying to cope and in doing so, certain romantic relationships form. The test of endurance comes when the crisis is over and we are left with either rock candy or the diamonds....I would suggest that the quarter-lifer carefully evaluate romantic situations and take them for what they are worth. Although for the quarter-life woman, her biological clock begins to resoundingly gong in her ears, no need to panic. We have five years to find MR. RIGHT, get hitched and start popping out babies...Think about where you were five years ago. I am sure it is a long way from where you are now. Now transfix that into the future time...in five years, we again will be far from where we are now, so no need to fear...SIGN OFF OF E HARMONY right now!
So there you have it. I never claimed to be a genius...but I do know a little about the Quarter-Lifer's way of life, since today I am now officially one. As my birthday wears on, the weather gets more severe and the "quarter of a century old" jokes roll in, I am going to enjoy my birthday feasts and revel in the next year of life, no matter where it takes me, crisis or no crisis.
Today being my twenty-fifth birthday, I thought it fitting to give back this year, rather than receive. My gift to you, dear readers, is my evaluation and thoughts on what has been coined the Quarter Life Crisis. It was a sign to me that I awake to my twenty fifth year of life in the midst of severe weather that is ravaging across five states, it is never really sunshine.
I credit a lot of my awareness of my quarter life crisis to Mr. John Mayer. In his song entitled WHY GEORGIA? (the irony never ends) Mr. Mayer so eloquently sings of driving up I85 and wishing to just leave his life and keep driving. He says, "It might be a quarter life crisis, just a stirring in my soul". I give abundant thanks to you Mr. Mayer for so eloquently defining what is plaguing pretty much every person I know that is my age. Since there is not much material that I have found on the subject, I figured I would provide my insight on the topic.
SYMPTOMS OF THE QUARTER LIFE CRISIS
It is only fitting to start out by identifying those (which is the majority of us quarter lifers) who are suffering from this crisis. If you have any of the below symptoms, keep reading!You are having a quarter life crisis if:
1. If you are unhappy in your job and are considering a complete career change at the age of 25
2. If you find yourself considering going back to school for your third undergraduate degree or find yourself as an 8th year Senior
3. If you spend weeks celebrating the fact that you got a job instead of going straight to work
4. If you are looking for love in all the wrong places or find yourself on E Harmony at the age of 25 or less...
5. If you are living with your parents and have the desire to move out, but do nothing about it
6. If you are 25 and your parents still give you an allowance
7. When you drink, you become a $30,000 millionaire and offer to buy the whole bar a round of drinks then protest when your bill comes
8. You put on a suit to go out for happy hour so women think that you have a good job
9. Your financial planning of paycheck to paycheck is failing
10. You see Student Loans as a long term illness that is incurable
11. You have death wishes upon the credit card executives that target college students with a $5,000 credit limit. Did they give a class on credit cards that you overslept through in college?
12. You seek advice from Dr. Phil
13. Either you read a self-help book a day or you haven't read a book since middle school
14. You plan parties that are reminiscent of the 80's and early 90's such as Roller Skating parties, pumpkin carving parties, 80's parties and everyone thinks it is the best party since the 80's
15. You attend concerts for 80's and 90's cover bands ONLY...
16. You monthly color the grey out of your hair at age 25
17. You work for a year or two then completely quit your job to go travel the world in order to find yourself
18. You're style is extreme, either extreme grandmotherish wearing cardigans and ankle length skirts or extreme TEEN wearing knee boots, big lucite bracelets and short mini skirts. No matter which, rest assured it will all be wrinkled.
19. You know every answer to Trivial Pursuit the 90's and have weekly tournaments at your house, playing the game and reminiscing the good times...
20. You try to hang out with college kids again, but secretly it takes you two weeks to recover from a game day weekend...
Check them off, add them up, if you are suffering from the above symptoms, it is time to take matters into your own hands. Understanding what is going on with you and that you are not the only one dealing with these fears, situations and feelings is, in my inexpert opinion, the key to successfully making it through the crisis.
The Quarter-Life Career Crisis
So, most of us are at a point where we are a couple years out of college, like me with a worthless, but fun at the time, degree, and are considering a career change. We were advised by our high school counselors that the average person makes eight CAREER changes in a life time, yet the rat race for fortune is pounding pressure upon us NOW. We all seek a gratifying career where we make tons and tons of money, am I right? Most of us now are complacent in our $40K/year jobs yearning for something more. From what I gather from myself and other fellow sufferers is that this is normal. We are SEEKING the answers,but are not already enlightened. We have the other 75 years of our life to make the tons of money and then our kids will make tons of money and take care of us. Take a deep breath, right now, for thinking about this gives me anxiety which leads to panic attacks, which leads me to my next subject...Stress.
The Quarter- Lifer's Eradication of Stress
We seek to eradicate stress like Pac Man eats those tiny glowing point morsels. One of my best friends, Katie, has a great quote that I think sums up the best strategy. "The purpose of life is not to get rid of the butterflies in your stomach, but to get them to fly in formation." I find this so true. No person I know eradicates stress. Stress is what makes the world go around, and managing stress is a more realistic approach. Stress is a normal part of each person's life. Those who are successful manage it well, while us quarter-lifers struggle to stay afloat. I think managing stress comes with age, much more age than we have under our belts.
The Quarter-Lifer's Identity Crisis
So we are at an age where we don't know if we should pull out the figurative girdle and cardigan or zip up those knee boots and throw on some glitter. We are struggling to make it in the adult world and establish ourselves as such while trying to cling to our not so distant past of youth and the carefree party life. Where is the happy medium? The truth is, there is hope; there just may be one! You can pay the expensive price of owning a dual wardrobe, or you can give in to one or the other. I think most lean towards the first, dating themselves with older clothes, older social scenes and just a plain older way of life. I prefer the dual wardrobe, mixing the right amount of sass and class. It can be done, but at what price? The price is high, but it creates a more well- rounded person. Being an adult means being a chameleon, blending with the crowds you hang in while maintaining a certain level of uniqueness. I dabble in the follies of youth while trying to maintain and adult-like manner on some fronts. It is definitely a lot of upkeep, but for me, it is the right choice. Today I am wearing glitter.
The Quarter-Lifer's Love Life Crisis
Unless you were one of those girls I went to college with that graduated early with an MRS. you find yourself like most of us, in search of love. At times, I doubt whether we know the full definition of love at this ripe old age. I find most of my friends are lonely and want some what of a crutch or someone to identify with them during the QLC. Wrong and Wrong, that is what I say. Very few of us at this age can take off the desperate-colored glasses of the crisis and see relationships for what they truly are. We are all trying to cope and in doing so, certain romantic relationships form. The test of endurance comes when the crisis is over and we are left with either rock candy or the diamonds....I would suggest that the quarter-lifer carefully evaluate romantic situations and take them for what they are worth. Although for the quarter-life woman, her biological clock begins to resoundingly gong in her ears, no need to panic. We have five years to find MR. RIGHT, get hitched and start popping out babies...Think about where you were five years ago. I am sure it is a long way from where you are now. Now transfix that into the future time...in five years, we again will be far from where we are now, so no need to fear...SIGN OFF OF E HARMONY right now!
So there you have it. I never claimed to be a genius...but I do know a little about the Quarter-Lifer's way of life, since today I am now officially one. As my birthday wears on, the weather gets more severe and the "quarter of a century old" jokes roll in, I am going to enjoy my birthday feasts and revel in the next year of life, no matter where it takes me, crisis or no crisis.
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