The Little BIG thing I have leard about Karma

A little BIG thing I have learned about Karma

So, two blogs in one day....Lord only knows what you might be thinking, but the recent Thanksgiving holiday, coupled with a few sick days at home has given me lots of topics and nothing but time on my hands to contemplate them.

In the previously alluded to conversation in which my sister and I solved the world's problems, we also talked a lot about character and Karma. My sister being a firm believer in Karma, as am myself and many of my friends and family, it is apparently a reoccuring theme in my life and hers as well.

You see, Karma has always existed in our lives, but before, we were not conscious of it and its effects. Karma is something that is only of use and benefit to us if we are aware of it and acknowledge it. I wish I had my wonderful book on hand, Deepok Chopara's book entitled THE SEVEN SPIRITUAL LAWS OF SUCCESS in which he does an amazing job of clearing up any gray areas one might have regarding karma.

My definition, as I understand Karma, is that karma is the equal reciprocate of actions that one commits, good or bad. That being said, simple "mental math" tells us that good karma yields good karma and bad karma yields bad karma. Simple as pie, right? Well, that is the thing, you can define karma in Webster's or mathematical terms but I prefer to give you a definition that shows, as well as tells you, exactly what is Karma .

When I was in high school, shamefully enough to admit, I wasn't the nicest person. Whatever excuses I may drum up in my head, there really is no excuse in life for just plain not being nice. There was one kid in school, names withheld to protect the innocent( though if I thought it kosher, I would announce his name as well as a big fat apology on the biggest billboard I could find!), who I was particularly not nice towards. I don't really think of myself as a bully, for I myself was a victim of many cruel jokes, rumors, etc. but I was, without rhyme or reason, just plain not nice to this kid. I made fun of him, so did others, but I am taking blame for myself here. Pretty much, I in company of others, were responsible for making this kid seem as though he was different, that he wasn't a part of our crowd or any crowd, for that matter. As the weary years of high school progressed, the teasing became more frequent, and then my senior year, it kind of stopped. I had been going through my own personal trials and tribulations, as had everyone else, and when senior year came around, it was apparent that many things had changed. This kid, he had changed alright. He came to school with a new lease on life, and everyone wondered what had gotten into him. We all knew his parents were going through divorce, which although I cannot empathize, I try my best to sympathize, and that was about all we knew. Our life changing senior English class taught by the lifechanging Ms. Virgina Stallings did wonders for us all, and one day, after we had all broken the ice and gotten to know each other for what seemed like the first time, this one kid, in his own way set himself free, he told our class that he was gay (As to my current knowledge, I believe he still is..)

Over the years, the guilt of what I had done, or what I thought I had done to this guy has mounted. I wondered if it were me that had pushed him just an inch closer in this direction. Who knows. The debate of nature v. nurture in this situation is a hot ticket, but the fate of this kid has weighed heavy on my mind. And this is where karma rears his head..

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You see, in my life, God has allowed me to become kindred spirits with one of the strongest most amazing men I know, who just so happens to be gay. I love Jonathan with all of my heart. I truly abound with his spirit and strenghth in my life. Jonathan has taught me things and shown me character more than almost any person I could ever hope to love in my life. He has shown me the struggles and downs and he has rejoiced with me on mountaintops...I love him with all of my heart and soul and no one other than he and I will know the kindred bond we have with each other. My sister explains it this way, that there are a select few of your friends that you are willing to lay down your life for, that you are willing to sacrifice any personal gain to see that person succeed, a person from which comfort and love flows like the juice out of the middle of a piece of Freshen Up gum..I mean, the person that you love more than life itself, and for me, that is Jonathan.

Now you may be asking, but Lauren, you were mean to a boy and karma gave you a gay best friend? That doesn't sound right. Well, dear reader, are correct. You see, the irony in karma is that although I was given a soul mate in Jonathan, I also have to live with every bit of criticism he endures for the remainder of his life. I hear every judgment, condemnation and hateful remark people make about him and his lifestyle. Although I can and do defend my beloved Jonathan to the bitter end, it is always there. The sting that words can have, the sting that I inflicted on that kid in highschool, it is always there. In ways, karma is more than repayed me. I can readily handle criticisms of myself, but what hurts the most is when people criticize the ones that you love.

It is truly heartbreaking what karma does to people, but there is always a "silver lining" as my sister will have it. My silver lining is the joy, life and love that Jonathan brings to my life. My joy is in his successes and accomplishments (which he is at the top of his class right now, I will have you know!). Please let this tale be a word to those who are old as well as those who are young. You reap what you sow and that is why it is important to share my story in hopes that others will be aware of the effects that each and every action stands to have on our future lives.